One Is The Loneliest Number

Alright alright alright, I promise I won't start posting only what I write for Helium.  I actually questioned whether I should post this here, as it's waaaaay more personal than what I usually blog about.  (The topic is "Pros and Cons of Being an Only Child").  Unfortunately, I don't have the energy to come up with anything else at the moment, so here it is.

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As an only child, here’s my take on the pros and cons of my sibling-less status:

Pros

-       From a financial/materialistic perspective, you have it all.

 As much as I hate being told I’m “lucky” to not have to put up with siblings, I must concede that only children are, in the most superficial of respects, lucky.  You get your own room, your own pets, copious amounts of gifts at Christmas, etc.  Free from the ‘burden’ of multiple children, parents are better able to help out financially during the university years, as well as that awkward transition from studenthood to adulthood. 

 

-       You develop an entirely different relationship with your parents compared to children with siblings.

This may not be in the ‘pro’ section for everyone, but for me it definitely is.  Without other siblings to compete with, an only child’s relationship with his or her parents can feel more equal in nature; their interests often become your interests, and a kind of closeness develops that is less likely to manifest when there are other kids around competing for affection.

Cons

-       You develop entirely different relationships with others your own age compared to people with siblings.

This point hits very close to home for me.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a loner, nor have I ever had a problem developing meaningful relationships.  I am, however, uncomfortable in situations where I’m supposed to be funny and giggly.  As a child, I was always better at talking to adults than kids my own age.  I always thought that when I became an adult myself, this would no longer be a problem for me.   I find, however, that few things make me more nervous than other twenty-somethings (especially female twenty-somethings).  I’m not sure if this is because I’m an only child, or if it’s an innate personality trait.  I do feel, however, that growing up with siblings could have helped in this department.

 

-       You’re your parents’ only hope.

As an only child, it’s all on you to be the successful one in the family.  No matter how old I get, I can’t shake the feeling that my parents are fascinated by me -unconditionally proud of the fact that I am their daughter.  On one hand, I really, really don’t want to disappoint them.  On the other, I know they will be proud of me no matter what, and don’t want to think of them as fools who are proud of me for nothing.  The constant focus on my success can provide momentum when I’m on a winning streak, but it can also be crippling during not-so-great times.

Personally, don’t want to raise an only child.  I feel that the cons outweigh the pros, largely due to the fact that social skills are arguably the most important aspect of anyone’s life.  I’m not trying to say that being an only child ensures one’s status as a socially awkward bore.  I just want my kids to be able to embrace life with the sort of carefree joy I’ve always wished I had.