It's Better on the Edge

EMC Editorial - Last week, I watched mesmerized as the co-hosts of Canada AM carefully negotiated the roof of the CN Tower's restaurant. Restrained by cords attached to complicated-looking red body suits at one end and the structure of the tower at the other, they proceeded to lean forwards and backwards over the edge, sans any sort of guardrail.

It's all part of a new attraction called EdgeWalk. For $175, you too can ascend the former world's tallest free-standing structure and feel what it's like to dangle 116 storeys in the air, nothing but sky between your body and the concrete jungle below.

"That looks fun," I said to my husband, Steve. "Let's give that a try."

I was met with a look of annoyed disbelief. To be honest, I kind of shocked myself too.

Ten years ago, I was afraid to go on the upside down roller coasters at Canada's Wonderland. It all stemmed from two traumatizing childhood experiences: one where I almost fell to my death from a zipper ride at the Calgary Stampede, and another where I was pressured against my will to ride the Jet Scream at Wonderland shortly thereafter - it's the one shaped like a rocket that sits upside down for five excruciatingly long seconds.

For years, I shied away from anything more extreme than the Ghoster Coaster. Then I visited Wonderland with Steve and his crazy friends, and experienced the park from a whole new perspective. Once again, I was pressured against my will to board the Jet Scream - and The Bat, and Top Gun (or whatever it is they're calling it now) - only to find that perhaps they aren't so scary after all.

Since then, I've turned into a somewhat unlikely adrenaline junkie. Wonderland, I must admit, has become a bit of a guilty pleasure. We went last summer only to realize that all other park visitors our age were there with small children, however, that didn't stop us from riding the new Behemoth coaster multiple times and loving every minute of it. To experience a 75-degree drop at 125 km/h with nothing but a small, inadequate-looking plastic rail to hold you in is pure exhilaration. It's the sort of thing that, if only for a minute, makes you feel impervious to anything else life can throw at you.

All the same, I often feel nostalgic for the time when my biggest fear constituted anticipating three minutes of terror at an amusement park.

These days, my greatest fears in life have to do with disease and financial ruin. Compared to these daunting thoughts, a quick and painless death by being flung from a malfunctioning roller coaster seems like a walk in the park.

Steve and I came to terms with exactly how much debt we had accumulated during our early 20s around the time the American economy tanked in 2008 - basically as a result everyone's debt spiralling out-of-control. Terrified, we set ourselves up with a plan to dig our way out, which we usually follow. All the same, our progress does little to eliminate the nagging - if unrealistic -fear of being financially dependent on family members with nothing to show for ourselves 10 years down the road.

As for disease - well, the mere thought of all the pesticides and hormones found in most foods these days is enough to make me nauseous. I imagine all those chemicals coursing through my blood, accumulating over time to cause cancer and god knows what else.

I'm not sure these fears fall into the same category as that of amusement park rides, but I am of the FDR school of thought in that I believe their root is one and the same: fear itself.

At the bottom of my quest for adrenaline, I think there is a wish to scare myself so much that I eliminate these other fears. Wonderland's scariest roller coasters can't quite get me there, but maybe the EdgeWalk will. Or perhaps even skydiving someday.