Surviving the dos and mostly don'ts of expectant motherhood

EMC Editorial - When it comes to your health, is it possible to be too well-informed?

If you had asked me that question five months ago, my answer would have been a swift and definite "no". Then I got pregnant.

Over the summer, I embarked on a quest for knowledge on how to have the healthiest possible pregnancy with the help of What to Expect When You're Expecting and a plethora of websites dedicated to the education of women who are with child.

The list of dos and don'ts is long and daunting. There are the obvious ones: don't drink alcohol, eat right, try not to fall down the stairs, etc.

Then there are the not-so-obvious. Did you know, for instance, that a woman is supposed to take folic acid tablets daily AT LEAST three months before conception? If you don't, the baby is at a risk of developing neural tube defects. Gee, that's a really helpful piece of information to be told after you're already pregnant. My little embryo hadn't even developed limbs, and already I was feeling like a terrible mother.

Avoiding unpasteurized soft cheeses is another big one. I eat a largely plant-based diet, so this rule is not difficult for me to follow. However, when I do eat cheese it's usually at a restaurant, and almost always of the goat variety. On several occasions, I've had to inquire as to whether the cheese was pasteurized.

Surprisingly, this doesn't seem to be a question regularly posed at restaurants. Responses ranged from pure bewilderment to clearly offended cross-examinations. My personal favourite: "Why would we serve unpasteurized cheese when it's illegal in Ontario?" (For the record, it's not.) Either way, not exactly the best way to kick off a relaxing evening out.

Lately, the advice at the forefront of my mind has been "don't sleep on your back after the first trimester or you'll cut off the oxygen supply to the baby." Admittedly, my first reaction to this rule was "how on earth could the human race survive millennia of evolution if a woman accidentally rolling onto her back in her sleep could kill or severely damage the baby?"

Indeed, when I asked my midwife about it she burst out laughing and advised me to "just sleep". Still, worrying about inhibiting the flow of oxygen to the foetus did lose me more hours of sleep than I'd like to admit.

For me, though, the number one piece of worry-inducing advice that is repeated literally everywhere is this: "pregnancy is a time of weight gain, but you have to be very, very careful not to gain too much otherwise your and the baby's health will be at risk."

Honestly people, are you TRYING to stir up the ghosts of my old disordered eating patterns at a time in my life when they would undoubtedly be more destructive than ever?

Apparently, pregnant women are supposed to eat about 300 extra calories per day, but for every half hour you exercise you add another 150 calories. Healthy eating is an extremely important part of my life, but I purposefully forgot what 300 calories looks like a long time ago and don't care to reacquaint myself.

Full disclosure: I hadn't weighed myself in almost a decade prior to my first prenatal appointment. The nurse took my blood pressure directly after and it was off the charts because I was so nervous.

I actually ended up losing weight in my first trimester due to some nasty, day-long "morning" sickness. Still, the idea of gaining any amount of weight - let alone more than the 30 lbs. you're supposed to - is a very scary thought for me.

Recently, I was talking to my grandma about my many pregnancy worries.

"I sure wouldn't want to be pregnant today," she said. "In my day we just went on with life normally and did our best to stay healthy."

Not bad advice from a woman who gave birth to six healthy children sans pre-pregnancy folic acid. Advice I should probably consider taking.

Hooked on horror

I realized I forgot to post my column from two weeks ago. Here it is...

EMC Editorial - A great man recently tweeted that sometimes all we need is a good scary movie.

I don't know about you, but I love being scared -assuming, that is, that there is no actual danger involved. And it seems there's no better time for vicarious adrenaline thumping than the month of October. To be honest, it's really the only part of the whole Halloween festive season I can get behind.

For years, I've been something of a Halloween scrooge - largely as a result of my dog dying unexpectedly on the night of Oct. 31 when I was 15, and a subsequent string of unpleasant experiences at various parties and ghastly gatherings throughout high school and university.

Put on a truly scary movie, though, and I'm hooked. The only problem is, there aren't that many of them out there. My best friend and I went through a phase as teenagers where we rented pretty much every movie imaginable that was supposed to be scary with discouraging results.

My problem is that while I do appreciate the ironic beauty of a good slasher movie, spewing blood and guts just don't do it for me in the scare department. There has to be something more psychological or paranormal at stake before it really has an effect on me.

For years, the only movie that scared me was The Shining. I saw it for the first time at about 17, and certain images - those two creepy girls, room 237, and the random furries in the bedroom to name a few - stayed with me for a long time. Finally, I bought the DVD, and now I've seen The Shining so many times that all I can really do anymore is appreciate it for the brilliant film it is.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit it because of what a campfest this movie is in actuality, but Signs also scared me the first few times I saw it. Seriously - it's downright terrifying when they're standing in the boarded-up house, waiting for the aliens to find their way in.

More recently, watching Paranormal Activity has kept me up at night on more than one occasion. It was one of those movies that I laughed off at first, but later when I was lying in bed my mind turned to invisible demons whenever the house made even the faintest creak.

It seems finding a genuinely scary movie has become a rare and wonderful treat. Happily, though, October thrills have recently begun to manifest in non-cinematic forms too. Most notably, Fort Fright. I went for the first time two years ago not really expecting much, and ended up feeling more terrified than I've been in years.

I was already pretty impressed with the whole thing, but then on the way out one of the undead British guards latched onto my arm and escorted me all the way to the car, whispering the whole time for me to come back and stay with him. As we drove away, he literally ran after the car - all the way to the bottom of the hill. The friends I was with thought it was hilarious, but I have to admit I was more than a little creeped out on a number of levels.

Then last year there were the clowns. Nothing is scarier than clowns. Period. Especially when they jump out at you from behind a Shining-style hedge maze.

This year, I hear the theme is snakes and crawly things, and personally, I can't wait. I guess when it comes right down to it, it doesn't really matter if the scares are in 2D or 3D - just so long as I know I've paid for them.

hpratt-campbell@theheritageemc.ca

A new life

Well my dears, our secret is officially out: Steve and I are going to be parents - which means I can finally start writing about a few of the million thoughts that have been spinning around in my brain for the past three months or so.

Writing is how I make sense of things, but I find I’m not at all motivated to write unless I have some sort of audience. (Case in point: every one of my 15 quarter-full molskine journals is filled with Steve’s grocery lists, the names of people I photograph and random notes from Loyalist Township Council.) So please bear with me here as I try to work this whole thing out.

I am currently about 15.5 weeks pregnant, due on – of all days – April 1. I know this isn't much of a bump photo, but I've just recently started to "show" and am pretty excited about it. Oh and I don't intend on posting any ultrasound photos, but you can kind of see the first one on the fridge in the background, if you're interested.

While this pregnancy wasn’t specifically avoided, it wasn’t exactly planned either. Some of the financial goals we had been hoping to achieve before having a baby have not been met, but we could be in a worse position. Sure, we don’t own our own home, but at least we both have jobs we like and are on a path to digging ourselves out of debt. Plus I think in a way we wanted to get pregnant now, hence our knowingly dubious use of the rhythm method of birth control. Thus, after some initial shock and disbelief, we decided that we’re really quite happy about this development.

The summer was kind of rough for me. For almost two months, I couldn’t look at or smell the vast majority of food. Then I became violently ill with a terrible virus and had to be hospitalized. Thankfully, it ended up being unrelated to the pregnancy and the baby came through just fine.

Lately, I have been feeling much, much better and my appetite is back with a vengeance. I have been craving smoothies, frozen banana pureed in the food processor, vegan double chocolate cookies from the Goat and sweet cherry tomatoes.

Yet there are still a number of fears that are accompanying this pregnancy. I’m not sure whether they’re the result of hormones, legitimate concerns or a combination of both. When I got married, several significant relationships in my life were severely damaged, and have never been fully repaired or replaced. A large part of me fears that this next major life step will have similar consequences.

It doesn’t help that I’m the sort of person who needs lots of people around in my life. So many of those I consider friends live far away, and it’s extremely hard to meet new people. Not that I don’t meet new people every day through my job – but you can’t just propose friendship to random acquaintances. Not to mention, everyone seems to have their own little clique already, and be perfectly content in the friend department.

I think the reason I’ve been so emotional about it all is because I would like our baby’s life to be full of friends and good times. I feel anxious about my own loserdom. How is this poor child going to turn out if his or her mother has no one in her life but her husband and parents? (That said, I am extremely grateful to have three people who care about me so much.)

Then yesterday, I was moved to tears by the number of kind wishes sent our way by friends and family members on Facebook, and have begun to feel a bit better about the whole thing. I’m so glad people are in on our secret now, and that we don’t have to feel so alone anymore.

I know how self-indulgent and disjointed this all sounds. Don’t worry - I have no intention of regularly posting these senseless emotional ramblings. There's just so much on my mind at the moment, and combined with pregnancy hormones it's causing me to be a bit of a wreck. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Thanksgiving pies

I baked some pies today for Thanksgiving. (And of course took a photo of them with my new phone, which I am obsessed with.)

It's a tradition I took over after my nan, the world's greatest pie maker, became too sick to make them several years ago. Mine are not nearly as good as hers and probably never will be, but I'm working on it.

On this day, I'd like to acknowledge that I really do have so much to be thankful for. Too often I am inclined to focus on what's missing in my life - things I want but can never have. Every day, I work on silencing these feelings because I know they do not serve me - they only suck up the energy I should be using on other, more constructive tasks which could actually lead to genuine happiness. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this with you - albeit in a very vague manner. But it feels good to get it off my chest.

A few shots with new phone

I recently got beautiful new Android phone, and am completely obsessed with it. The camera in particular is quite amazing. You can set it to take vintage-style photos, allowing your entire life to take on that artsy glow. Here are a few of my favourites so far...