Lost Together

EMC Editorial - Two weekends ago, my husband Steve and I attended a wedding in Welland, Ont. Steve's inability to find his way around the Niagara Region - where, for the record, he grew up - never ceases to amaze me. I will spare you the details of our frenetic 45-minute journey from his godparents' home in Chippewa, where we were staying, to the church in Font Hill, other than to say that it gave new meaning to our own wedding song, Lost Together by Blue Rodeo.

Over the course of the day, I got thinking about wedding songs and what a strange and wonderful thing it is to even attempt to choose a song that represents who you are as a couple.

Personally, I never really thought too much about our choice. Steve and I share similar tastes in a lot of things, but music is not one of them. As a result, the song to which we shared our first dance as a married couple didn't seem all that important. Steve is a big Blue Rodeo fan and I thought Lost Together was a nice song for a wedding and that was that.

Looking back, however, I find it interesting how we as a couple have grown into and out of the song over the years. On our wedding day, we knew exactly where we were going and what we were going to do to get there, and saw ourselves as anything but lost.

Then, we realized that much of the world is, in fact, "controlled by so few", and that landing our dream jobs, purchasing our own home and arriving at a place in life where we felt ready to have children wasn't going to be as easy as we once thought. Wrong turns were taken, forcing us to live in different cities at various points while we desperately clung to any job prospect that hinted at a half-decent career path.

Yes, there were disasters, but they were our disasters, and all of our endeavours - foiled or not - were for the growth of us as a couple. We worked, and still do work, as a team, combating life's obstacles together.

The path we are on now is very different from the one we had dreamed of, but at least it's a path as opposed to a dark and lonely forest. And in many ways, you could argue things worked out for the better.

For instance, I always dreamed of being a young mother and having at least three children - perhaps as a way of ensuring my kids don't inherit certain odd personality traits of mine, which I'm sure are the result of being an only child. Now, I'm quite happy to be childless at this point in my life, and feel that I will have different but equally positive things to offer my future children as a more mature mother.

I thought about all this as we made an unexpected turn that brought us into familiar territory on the way to the wedding. Getting there took a little longer than expected, but we arrived - about three minutes before the bride.

I thought about it again later when Lost Together was played at the reception hall. It wasn't even the official dance at that point -the song came on as part of the background music that was playing during dinner - and yet Steve insisted we get up and dance. (Yeah, we gave up trying to be cool a long time ago.)

During the dance, I said a silent thank you that for the time being at least it looks as though we have found our way. I'm not so naive as to think that we will never again stumble off the beaten path, but if we do, we will be lost together, and together we will find a new one.

Wedding Fun!

Is there anything better than a wedding? Personally, I don't think so. Our friends John and Megan got married on the weekend, and it was so much fun! Here are some highlights...

First dance as married couple...

The next to be wed....

The old married couple...

The soon-to-be parents...

Best of friends...

Tossing the garter...

Caught garter, wore as crown for remainder of evening :-)

Dancing!

Good times were had by all!

Words, Words, Words

EMC Editorial - Last week, I came across a piece in New York Times Magazine that captured my interest; the article referenced a list of words and phrases that annoyed former magazine editor Kurt Andersen, which he did not want to see used in his publication. Some, such as “hubby,” “celeb,” “eatery” and “a who’s who of” I agree with completely and try to avoid at all costs. Other list-makers, such as “overly” and “lifestyle,” I realize I am guilty of using all the time, and feel a certain duty to stand by.

Either way, the article got me thinking about language, and why we describe things the way we do. At the risk of sounding like a hopeless cliché, I have always been fascinated by the English language. I love how the right word can turn an otherwise boring sentence into something that is powerful and memorable. I also love how, unlike other languages such as French, English is self-consciously malleable, and relatively welcoming of change.

Indeed, fresh words emerge all the time to describe new fads or technologies. Many, like “smartphone,” are pretty much universally accepted as being necessary to describe something that did not exist in the past.

Others are more controversial. Every time I see or hear the word “foodie,” for instance, I feel as though someone is scratching their very long, sharp fingernails along a chalkboard. Don’t get me wrong – I do recognize that our culture needs a new word to describe one who participates in the recent fad of intense food appreciation – I simply find the look and sound of “foodie” distasteful. (No pun intended).

Interesting too how definitions of long-established words can shift to meet the needs of a new generation. I find it amusing, for example, how unfortunate situations can now be labelled “ironic” so long as the speaker qualifies that Alanis Morrissette brand of irony is being referred to. My head begins to spin when I try to calculate just how many levels of intentionality are present in such statements. I think it has to do with alluding to an ironic appreciation of a song that ironically does not reference any pre-existing version of irony– or something like that.

Furthermore, I believe that using “epic” to express something so ever-so-slightly grander than “great,” and “hot” to describe someone ever-so-slightly sexier than “good looking” really does add something to the language.

Other words, it seems, are collectively offensive to our culture. And I’m not just talking about profanity. Society’s curious fear of the word “me” is notable. If I had a dime for every time I’ve seen somebody on Facebook incorrectly describe a photo of being of “[friend’s name] and I,” I could retire tomorrow. Think about it, friends – if the photo was of you alone, would you write “this is a photo of I?”

The sheer ubiquity of this error has got to stem from countless, well-intentioned parents and teachers pounding into everyone’s head that “Jimmy and I are going to the store,” as opposed to “Jimmy and me,” etc. For some reason, the complete version of this rule never got told, and poor little old “me” was unjustly left with a less-than-favourable reputation.

My husband suspects that our aversion to the word may relate to a lingering cultural bias, and that we stay away from ‘me’ because it smacks of distasteful haughtiness and greed. I’m not sure I totally agree with him, but I certainly think that studying the way culture affects the language of personal pronouns could lead to some very exciting findings – at least for English nerds like me.

Thus, if I were to start my own list of objectionable words and phrases, it would undoubtedly include “I” when used as a first person object pronoun, as well as “foodie” and certain other abominations like “staycation” and “gamer.” But certainly not all new words are bad. What do you think, dear reader? What would be on your list?

Oh, Kingston!

This photo epitomizes why I love my hometown...where else can you find random people in 19th Century clothing just chillin' in a graveyard?